i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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