nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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