We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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