I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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