When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize