At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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