absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize