yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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