opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize