I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize