Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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