your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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