I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize