her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
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I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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