There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize