I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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