We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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