im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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