My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
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You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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