So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
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They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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