so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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