craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How external is "for external use only"?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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