covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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