Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dick very happy bro
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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