addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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