she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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