apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize