you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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