so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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