So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize