Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
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I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So vagazzling was a success
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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