I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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