Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize