my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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