This house was built for laser tag.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize