thus making me awesome and them whores
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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