Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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