All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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