She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
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We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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