Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize