So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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