I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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