Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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