This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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