After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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