Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize