office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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