Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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