I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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