I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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